Black women don’t enter the holiday season from a place of ease. We enter it carrying emotional, generational, cultural, and professional labor the world depends on, but rarely acknowledges. And after a year where hundreds of thousands of Black women were pushed out of the workforce, dismissed, overlooked, and expected to “push through,” our Christmas lists look very different from what’s sold in a gift guide. This year, I’m naming what Black women really want: rest, softness, protection, dignity, and joy that doesn’t require suffering.

We love creating Christmas magic for our families, but behind the scenes, moms are carrying the lists, the plans, the wrapping, the remembering, and the emotional labor of it all. This year, I’m giving voice to what we really want for Christmas—unfiltered, unapologetic, and finally said out loud. Here are 20 things we actually want this holiday season.