Things I Refuse to Apologize For in Life
“Because growth doesn’t ask for approval… and neither do I.”
Hey Friend,
After my post on things I refuse to apologize for as a mother, it’s only right that I create a list of things I’m no longer apologizing for in life.
Would you believe there was once a time where I apologized simply for existing as my beautiful, full self? For needing rest. For changing my mind. For wanting more (and sometimes less) at the same damn time. I apologized for taking up space, for slowing down, for choosing the opposite of what was expected of me.
But I’m proud to announce that I don’t do that anymore.
I’ve stopped performing and started being honest. Honest about what I need. Honest about who I am right now. Honest about the ways my life, my priorities, my pace—hell, even my body—have shifted. Especially after motherhood. And especially after turning 40. I’ve learned that constantly explaining oneself doesn’t necessarily make life smoother, it only makes your boundaries easier to cross.
So I’ve stopped explaining.
I’m no longer apologizing for choosing my mental health, my growth, or my energy over things that drain it, make me shrink, or make me feel like I’m not enough. I’m not apologizing for standing in my truth, for protecting my peace, or for wanting a life that feels aligned and not forced. And I’m not apologizing for transforming into a grander, more unfiltered, and more unapologetic version of myself, even if it makes others feel uncomfortable.
Living doesn’t require permission.
It requires clarity, trust, the courage to show up as your highest self, and being proud of yourself for trying. So here’s what I’m no longer apologizing for. From needing a break to embracing life throughout all of its changes and transitions.
Needing a break. We all need space to ourselves sometimes.
Asking for help. We’re not meant to do it all alone.
Having guilt-free downtime. Self-care for women is vital. Especially today.
Prioritizing my mental health. I refuse to be “available” 24/7.
Prioritizing my relationship with myself. Self-love is the best love. And well, Love, it’s essential.
Enjoying my alone time. Solitude is restorative.
Letting go of toxic influences. Because toxicity isn’t cute.
Taking time for hobbies or passions outside of motherhood. I’m still a woman outside of being a mom.
Saying “no.” Boundaries, friends. Boundaries.
Stepping away from social media. My life and everything in it isn’t for public consumption.
My changing taste in music, conversations, and activities. (*insert growth gif)
Wanting to be around different people.
Not being who I was before motherhood. I’ve evolved. And I’m just not that girl anymore.
Pursuing personal interests unapologetically.
Choosing my own pace. My life, my rules, my playbook.
Changing my mind when something no longer feels right.
Gaining weight. This body grew, housed, and delivered a human being.
Loving myself in this body, as it is now. Because it needs love and compassion, not critiques.
Embracing aging, changes, and life transitions.
Walking away from commitments that no longer serve me.
Choosing convenience. Even if I have to pay for it.
Protecting my energy in social and professional spaces. Because I never was good at forced interactions.
Forgoing things I don’t need or want. Life is too short.
This list is less about being rigid or self-centered, as it is about being rooted. It’s about choosing alignment over approval and recognizing that growth doesn’t always look graceful. And being okay with it.
These days, I’m choosing to live consciously. And in doing that, I’m paying attention to what nourishes me and the life I’m building. And if that makes me less agreeable, less accessible, or less familiar to some people, I can live with that.
Because this life—my life—doesn’t need to make sense to everyone. It just needs to feel like mine.
With Love,
Racquel